why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
how drunk are you?
Several
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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