Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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