the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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