I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize