What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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