That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
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I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
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I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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