Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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