drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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