the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
