i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
We got so high we made milksteak
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
