so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i think i just lost a toe