We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car