there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.