go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
