I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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