u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Plan B is the new Plan A
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
