just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize