Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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