I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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