HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I love you.
Bad choice
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize