i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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