I just pynch a tree in the face
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
