Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......