She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?