I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
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I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.