i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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