i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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