no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
