gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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