It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize