my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
