mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
