just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
