garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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