You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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