hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
