I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
