beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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