I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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