it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
