Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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