I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
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you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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