There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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