Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
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We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
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Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...