the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight