So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
my poor anus
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?