hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
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We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
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I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The power of my boobs compel you
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.