I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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