dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
