Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize