How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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