yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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