do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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