trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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