it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Me too!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize