No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
