Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
the raccoons are back...
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