I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize